What can a brother do for me?: My time, thus far, as a Freemason

There's this well-known R&B song from the late 90s. It brings together several chart-topping male artists of that time—Ginuwine, R.L., Tyrese, and Case. "The Best Man I Can Be" quickly became a hit, especially as it was on the soundtrack for the popular movie "Best Man" (which featured Morris Chestnut, Taye Diggs, and Terrence Howard, another fine ensemble performance). The song's chorus goes like this:

What can a brother do for me?

He can help you up when you are down

What can a brother do for me?

He can be your eyes when you can't see.

What can a brother do for me?

He can help me be the best man I can be.

This song truly celebrates that often hard-to-find, yet crucial, male friendship that pushes men to own up to things and become better versions of themselves. The power of this connection, wrapped up in the word "brother," is tough to establish and even tougher to maintain. We live in a world that praises being hyper-individual, and men too easily drift off into being stoic and alone. Because of this, forming and keeping a "brotherhood" has gotten harder and harder. I try and get groups of guys together in my own life—friends from high school or university, and sometimes Caribbean professional men who live in the neighbourhood. But these get-togethers were always few and far between. They depended on the hectic schedules of men with families, businesses, and all sorts of other important roles. Not the best situation to make a bond of brotherhood stronger. So, you can probably picture how excited I was when I found out about a fraternity, over three hundred years old, that's spread across the globe and is devoted to systematically answering that question: "What can a brother do for me?"

If it looks like I'm the centre of attention here, well, it's because I am! :) I attained my 3rd and final degree that night and officially became a Master Mason. The guy standing to my left introduced me to Freemasonry.

So what is Freemasonry all about?

So, what exactly is this Freemasonry all about? If you've ever dipped into a Dan Brown thriller or caught one of the movies based on his books, you've probably run into Hollywood's version of Freemasonry. It’s usually painted as a shadowy group of men who've been behind every big historical moment, from hiding Jesus' bloodline to setting up the Vatican, even sparking the Boston Tea Party, all leading to some grand plan for world domination. Let's be clear: most of that is the stuff of legend, a mix of tiny bits of fact with huge servings of fiction.

Stripping away the dramatic flair, at its heart, Freemasonry could best be thought of by an everyday person as a kind of character building workshop. Imagine a place where men come together, not to plot global takeovers, but to work on themselves and make a positive mark on the world around them. It’s a fraternity, one of the oldest around, dedicated to bringing men together for self-improvement and to do good in their communities.

A bunch of the guys goofing around at the end of a lodge meeting.

Its whole foundation rests on three simple yet powerful ideas: brotherly love, relief (which is really just a fancy word for charity), and truth. The goal is pretty straightforward: it teaches men how to lean on that strong bond of friendship to serve their communities through acts of kindness and giving. At the same time, it encourages them to always be growing, to sharpen their minds, and to keep learning throughout their lives. It's about becoming a better person, not just for yourself, but for everyone around you. It's a space where you pick up the tools to become a better version of yourself. It’s not tied to any single religion or political party (in fact, discussion of religion or politics is strictly forbidden at lodge meetings), which means men from all walks of life can come together on common ground. It's more about shared values and a commitment to personal growth than anything else. You won't find any bizarre rituals leading to hidden treasure or ancient conspiracies. What you will find are lessons that help you be a more thoughtful, ethical, and contributing member of society. That's the real story; far less sensational than a Hollywood script, but much more meaningful. There are tons of reliable resources that one could consult about Freemasonry, particularly from a Grand Lodge website, but the best way to get information, as the saying goes, is to be one, ask one.

Contrary to some beliefs, Masonry isn't an "old white guy's club." Sure, the ethnic diversity in any lodge mirrors the diversity in the surrounding community, so it's possible to have lodges with very little diversity. But there's a good collection of "brothas" in the brotherhood in Ontario. All of us in this picture have Caribbean heritage.

Why the Secrecy?

Let's tackle that big question, the one that usually comes up as soon as someone hears the word "Freemasonry": Why the secrecy? It's a fair question, and one I've heard a couple times, often with a hint of curiosity, sometimes with a touch of suspicion.

I remember one night, not long after I was initiated, my wife asked me, "So, what exactly do you do at a meeting?" I could almost see the Dan Brown scenarios playing out in her head. But the reality, I told her, wasn't much different from any regular department meeting at work. We have an agenda, just like any other group, with a list of things to discuss and decide each month. We get updates on our finances, we make sure to check in on any member who might be sick or going through a tough time, and if there's a leak in the bathroom, well, a motion gets moved to call a plumber. It's really that straightforward, dealing with the nuts and bolts of keeping a group running smoothly.

If Freemasonry were a truly "secret society" we've done a rather poor job at it. Here's my wife inside the lodge room one night when Valentine's Day fell on a regular lodge night. We treated the wives to dinner and gave them a tour of the lodge room explaining the meaning behind the different emblems.

So, if it's all so ordinary, why the air of mystery? The "secrecy" isn't a means of deception at all. Instead, it's more of an invitation for a new initiate to "come and see for themselves." If you're going to a magic show, do you want the magician to explain every trick beforehand? Part of the experience, the wonder, and the personal discovery comes from witnessing it unfold. It's the same with Freemasonry. The elements that are kept private are part of the traditional methods of teaching and recognition within the fraternity. They enhance the experience and the meaning for those who are going through it. Do we have secret handshakes? Yes. Do we take an oath not to reveal our secrets? Ditto for that, too. If a Masonic workbook (where our rituals are written down) were to fall into the hands of an outsider they wouldn't be able to understand it much; some workbooks make use of a cypher to decode the text. Most workbooks are written mostly in 18th century English. And all workbooks use techniques to conceal intricate parts of the ritual. So, yes, we make a big deal about secrecy. One practical use of this is that, if every single workbook were to suddenly vanish, a small group of Masons could recreate all 200+ pages in a weekend; even though our rituals are written, they are executed from memory.

We don't solicit new members in Freemasonry. You won't find us recruiting on street corners or running splashy ad campaigns. The closest you'll get to "solicitation" is casually mentioning to another guy, "I think this fraternity might be good for you," and letting him ask the questions. That invitation to "come and see" is central. It respects personal choice and curiosity. It ensures that those who join are genuinely interested and ready to engage with the principles of the fraternity, rather than being coerced or talked into it. The vast majority of information about Freemasonry, its history, its charitable works, and its principles, is actually out in the open for anyone to find. The privacy maintained around certain rituals is simply about preserving the integrity and personal journey of the experience for each new member.

How does it make men better?

Now, for the really important question, the one that ties back to the very beginning of this journey: How does Freemasonry actually make men better?

It’s an interesting thing, because while Freemasonry is open to any man, it’s definitely not for every man. To even be considered, a guy needs to be at least 21 years old. And this next part, truly, can't be stressed enough: he has to be of genuinely good moral character. This isn't just a casual suggestion; it's vouched for by two referees on his application. But the vetting doesn't stop there. Even after clearing that hurdle, his application needs to be unanimously accepted by every single member of the lodge. If there's even one vote against the applicant, the application fails. This rigorous process is in place because, quite simply, Freemasonry can only make a man better if he's already, fundamentally, a good man. While the aim is to help him grow and develop, he needs to be in the right place in his life, with the right frame of mind, to truly take in and use the Masonic teachings. Some candidates are a natural fit right away, while others might need to do a bit more personal work before they're ready to join the fraternity.

Here I am, armed with a drawn sword at the door of the lodge, in my roll as the "Inner Guard", ensuring that masons are properly presented on entry and are in possession of the password. If not, off with their head. Ok, not really.

The Craft, as we call it, leans heavily on the old symbols and tools of stonemasons to build up a man's character. Just like the "operative" masons of old used their hammers, chisels, and squares to construct grand cathedrals and temples, "speculative" masons today use these same symbols to build their own character. The square, for example, reminds us to act squarely and honestly. The compasses teach us to keep our passions within due bounds. These aren't just pretty symbols; they're daily reminders, silent lessons in how to live.

Ultimately, what you get out of Freemasonry is directly related to what you put into it. Every Mason has to be willing to work at his craft, just like any skilled artisan. The lodge gives you the tools, lays them out for you, but it's up to each individual Mason to progressively become skilled at using them in his own life. This isn't a passive journey; it demands active participation and an open mind. Every man who brings his talents, his unique perspectives, and his life experiences to the Craft will find that he gains just as much, if not more, than he gives. For my part, I've been lucky enough to give two short lectures during my time in the lodge so far, and I'm looking forward to contributing even more in the future. It’s a journey of continuous learning and building, always striving to improve that inner temple.

There's so much more that could be said about Freemasonry, and honestly, I wouldn't have the time or the space to cover it all in a single post. But I will say this much: in the time I've been a Mason, I've truly seen and felt the importance of that bond of brotherhood. It's something you read about, but it's another thing entirely to experience it firsthand.

I remember one recent evening, witnessing a senior member of the fraternity receive a once-in-a-lifetime pin for 75 years of service. Think about that for a moment – 75 years! This brother is 96 years old, still actively involved in managing his lodge as treasurer, and even does memory work on occasion. His sharp mind and dedication were a quiet inspiration. I've also been to a Masonic memorial service for a departed brother and couldn't help but notice how much his family appreciated the presence of representatives from the entire district, all coming to pay our final respects. It speaks volumes about the enduring connection. I've seen a brother, who has Indigenous heritage, deliver a teary-eyed speech of appreciation to his mentor, then present him with a ceremonial eagle feather—a moment charged with genuine emotion and respect. And I've seen a brother who successfully got into medical school in Europe get a rousing round of congratulations from the entire lodge, as we collectively expressed how much he'd be missed. These are the moments that truly bring the meaning of "brotherhood" to life.

To really grasp what the Craft might mean to a man, picture this: imagine a man who works a humble job at a large company. He's not part of management, he doesn't have much influence, and he might not get a lot of respect from his superiors during his daily grind. But once a month, he puts on a dark three-piece suit, dons his Masonic regalia, takes up his gavel, and carries out his duties as the Master of his lodge. In that space, he is revered and respected by men from all sorts of backgrounds—some of whom might even be senior executives or influential figures in their everyday lives. Yet, they all greet him "on the level," with mutual respect and brotherly love. That, in essence, is the true heart of Freemasonry. It's a place where every man, regardless of his standing in the outside world, is seen and valued for his character and his commitment to the shared journey of self-improvement and service.